Daring navigator ROBLOX NOOB BLOXXER is arguing with witty psychiatrist ROBLOX GUEST GUEST MUTED. NOOB tries to hug GUEST but he shakes him off.

 

NOOB
Please Guest, don't leave me.

 

 

GUEST
I'm sorry Noob, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

 

 

NOOB
I am such a person!

 

GUEST frowns.

 

GUEST
I'm sorry, Noob. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

 

GUEST leaves.

NOOB sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, patient homemaker FEMALE ROBLOX PERSON NOOB barges in looking flustered.

 

NOOB
Goodness, ROBLOX Person! Is everything okay?

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
I'm afraid not.

 

 

NOOB
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
It's ... a monster ... I saw an evil monster shoot a bunch of ROBLOX Users!

 

 

NOOB
Defenseless ROBLOX Users?

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Yes, defenseless ROBLOX Users!

 

 

NOOB
Bloomin' heck, ROBLOX Person! We've got to do something.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

 

 

NOOB
You can start by telling me where this happened.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
I was...

 

ROBLOX PERSON fans herself and begins to wheeze.

 

NOOB
Focus ROBLOX Person, focus! Where did it happen?

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Kings Cross Station, London! That's right - Kings Cross Station, London!

 

NOOB springs up and begins to run.

 

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

NOOB rushes along the street, followed by ROBLOX PERSON. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

 

INT. KINGS CROSS STATION, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER

EVIL GUEST MEAN a mean monster terrorises two ROBLOX Users.

NOOB, closely followed by ROBLOX PERSON, rushes towards EVIL GUEST, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
What is is? What's the matter?

 

 

NOOB
That's not just any old monster, that's Evil Guest Mean!

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Who's Evil Guest Mean?

 

 

NOOB
Who's Evil Guest Mean? Who's Evil Guest Mean? Only the most mean monster in the universe!

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Blinkin' knickers, Noob! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean monster in the universe!

 

 

NOOB
You can say that again.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Blinkin' knickers, Noob! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean monster in the universe!

 

 

NOOB
I'm going to need Rocket Launcher, lots of Rocket Launcher.

 

Evil Guest turns and sees Noob and ROBLOX Person. He grins an evil grin.

 

EVIL GUEST
Noob Bloxxer, we meet again.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
You've met?

 

 

NOOB
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

 

 

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young NOOB is sitting in a park listening to some flute music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees EVIL GUEST. He takes off his headphones.

 

EVIL GUEST
Would you like some toffees?

 

NOOB's eyes light up, but then he studies EVIL GUEST more closely, and looks uneasy.

 

NOOB
I don't know, you look kind of mean.

 

 

EVIL GUEST
Me? No. I'm not mean. I'm the least mean monster in the world.

 

 

NOOB
Wait, you're a monster?

 

NOOB runs away, screaming.

 

INT. KINGS CROSS STATION, LONDON - PRESENT DAY

 

EVIL GUEST
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
(To NOOB) You ran away?

 

 

NOOB
(To ROBLOX PERSON) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

 

NOOB turns to EVIL GUEST.

 

NOOB
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

 

NOOB runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

 

NOOB
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Rocket Launcher.

 

 

EVIL GUEST
I'm not scared of you.

 

 

NOOB
You should be.

 

 

INT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY

NOOB and ROBLOX PERSON walk around searching for something.

 

NOOB
I feel sure I left my Rocket Launcher somewhere around here.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly Rocket Launcher.

 

 

NOOB
You know nothing ROBLOX Person Noob.

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

 

Suddenly, EVIL GUEST appears, holding a pair of Rocket Launcher.

 

EVIL GUEST
Looking for something?

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Crikey, Noob, he's got your Rocket Launcher.

 

 

NOOB
Tell me something I don't already know!

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

 

 

NOOB
I know that already!

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
I bite my toenails.

 

 

EVIL GUEST
(appalled) Dude!

 

While EVIL GUEST is looking at ROBLOX PERSON with disgust, NOOB lunges forward and grabs his deadly Rocket Launcher. He wields them, triumphantly.

 

NOOB
Prepare to die, you mean sprout!

 

 

EVIL GUEST
No please! All I did was shoot a bunch of ROBLOX Users!

 

GUEST enters, unseen by any of the others.

 

NOOB
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those ROBLOX Users were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Noob Bloxxer defender of innocent ROBLOX Users.

 

 

EVIL GUEST
Don't hurt me! Please!

 

 

NOOB
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these Rocket Launcher on you right away!

 

 

EVIL GUEST
Because Noob, I am your father.

 

NOOB looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

 

NOOB
No you're not!

 

 

EVIL GUEST
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

 

EVIL GUEST tries to grab the Rocket Launcher but NOOB dodges out of the way.

 

NOOB
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

 

Unexpectedly, EVIL GUEST slumps to the ground.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Did he just faint?

 

 

NOOB
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Rocket Launcher.

 

NOOB crouches over EVIL GUEST's body.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Be careful, Noob. It could be a trick.

 

 

NOOB
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Evil Guest Mean is dead!

 

 

NOOB
What?

 

 

NOOB
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

 

ROBLOX PERSON claps her hands.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
So your Rocket Launcher did save the day, after all.

 

GUEST steps forward.

 

GUEST
Is it true? Did you kill the mean monster?

 

 

NOOB
Guest how long have you been...?

 

GUEST puts his arm around NOOB.

 

GUEST
Long enough.

 

 

NOOB
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Evil Guest Mean.

 

 

GUEST
Then the ROBLOX Users are safe?

 

 

NOOB
It does seem that way!

 

A crowd of vulnerable ROBLOX Users enter, looking relived.

 

GUEST
You are their hero.

 

The ROBLOX Users bow to NOOB.

 

NOOB
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Evil Guest Mean will never shoot ROBLOX Users ever again, is enough for me.

 

 

GUEST
You are humble as well as brave!

 

One of the ROBLOX Users passes NOOB a healing pendant

 

GUEST
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

 

 

NOOB
I couldn't possibly.

 

Pause.

 

NOOB
Well, if you insist.

 

NOOB takes the pendant.

 

NOOB
Thank you.

 

The ROBLOX Users bow their heads once more, and leave.

NOOB turns to GUEST.

 

NOOB
Does this mean you want me back?

 

 

GUEST
Oh, Noob, of course I want you back!

 

NOOB smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

 

NOOB
Well you can't have me.

 

 

GUEST
WHAT?

 

 

NOOB
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a monster to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

 

 

GUEST
But...

 

 

NOOB
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, ROBLOX Person.

 

ROBLOX PERSON grins.

 

GUEST
But...

 

 

ROBLOX PERSON
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

 

 

GUEST
Noob?

 

 

NOOB
I'm sorry Guest, but I think you should skidaddle.

 

GUEST leaves.

ROBLOX PERSON turns to NOOB.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

 

 

NOOB
Of course you are!

 

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly ROBLOX PERSON stops.

 

ROBLOX PERSON
When I said I bite my toenails, you know I was just trying to distract the monster don't you?

 

 

THE END